Simon’s Backup Weblog

Difficult days

Posted in Uncategorized by Simon Bisson on April 11, 2007

It’s been a tough couple of weeks, as folk reading ‘s LJ will have realised. I’ve found it particularly difficult, as it’s all happened pretty much exactly two years after my father’s death – and almost exactly the same way, right down to me being away when Mary’s mother went into hospital. It got to the point where I couldn’t stay in the hospital, and went for long walks in Richmond Park while Mary sat and read to her mother.

When the phone rang at half two in the morning on Saturday I knew what it meant. The ring echoed down the years.

This week has been a rush down the rapids of organising Mary’s mother’s funeral. We’ve found somewhere really nice for the grave, and we’re doing all the paperwork and the like. Registry offices are stifled places at the best of times, and sitting there waiting for the registrar was the drabbest half hour in a mostly drab few days.

Things have become a little easier, after last night’s meeting with the officiant shed some light into things, along with the poem Mary’s sister would like to read.

I just need to remember that I’m allowed to feel things too, that I can keep supporting Mary, while still grieving for both her mother, and my father.

At least spring has finally arrived.

First Green


16 Responses to 'Difficult days'

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  1. janetmiles said,

    I am sorry for your and Mary’s loss. May her mother rest in peace and be remembered well; may all who knew and loved her find comfort in memory.

  2. twicezero said,

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

    The grave site sounds like exactly where I’d like to be

  3. pmcmurray said,

    really sorry to hear this, best to both of you

  4. maetang said,

    I can understand that grieving over the loss of Mary’s mother now would also remind you of grieving over the loss of your father.

    This is all big stuff, and grief will set its own pace. I hope you can both be gentle with yourselves as you go through this process together. I’ll be thinking of you both.

  5. grey_lady said,

    My thoughts are with both of you.

  6. the_gardener said,

    I’m sorry to hear of this. My condolences and best wishes to you both.

  7. mdlbear said,

    My deepest sympathy to you both.

    My Dad died just two weeks after Colleen’s Mom — 1999 was a very rough year.

  8. davesslave said,

    Mary, her family, and you will be in my thoughts.

    I am sorry that happened to your family.

  9. mnelson said,

    Hopefully the good memories of Mary’s mother will help in this difficult time.

    And I can relate to your situation. My grandfather died in 1996, and my wife’s father died in 1997. We got married in 1995.

  10. kshandra said,

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Having just been through a funeral myself (though I was at least spared the stress of having to make the arrangements), I know some of what you’re going through. Please give Mary my fondest regards.

  11. marypcb said,

    hugs sweetie

  12. the_major said,


  13. dsgood said,

    My sympathies and condolences.

  14. micheinnz said,

    *big hugses*

  15. tanais said,

    Well, here’s to that grieving turning into just your good ol’ plain and simple ‘remembering’ sooner rather than later…

  16. elinor said,


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