Simon’s Backup Weblog


Verity Stob does (for) Torchwood.

Posted in Uncategorized by Simon Bisson on February 23, 2007

Enjoy the fun of a Torchwood/Under Milk Wood pastiche courtesy of the one and only Verity Stob.

Come close now. Zoom in, chopper-shot to crane-shot, down over Roald Dahl-As-We-Expected Plass and its mobile phone mast fountain and, deep, deep below, in his secret underground headquarters,

SECOND VOICE Captain Jack,

CAPTAIN JACK
Hi. I’m Captain Jack Harkness.

SECOND VOICE the insomniac bicon; snug as a hobbit, pretty as a choirboy, immortal as carbon dioxide, wooden as a horse. He is passing the small hours sweeping up pterodactyl droppings,

CAPTAIN JACK
They get everywhere.

SECOND VOICE and cataloguing his prize collection of alien artefacts,

CAPTAIN JACK
One off gadget for choosing the quickest queue at Tesco, check. And one off purple wig for a girlie going to the moon, check. And one off bottle of stuff for getting pterodactyl pturds off greatcoats, check.

It says it all, really, it does…

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3 Responses to 'Verity Stob does (for) Torchwood.'

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'Verity Stob does (for) Torchwood.'.

  1. srallen said,

    That was priceless!

    And it certainly sums up why I stopped watching after three weeks.

  2. megadog said,

    Reminds me of the time some filkish types tried to rewrite BOFH-stories in the style of Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales”.

    Well vers’d was he in ye skylles of LARTe;
    ’twas said thirteen dozenne spammers he’d cleaved apart.
    His bootes were black, and about his wayste
    A cellephone, and a Leathermanne fair well were playc’d
    .

  3. ffutures said,

    Stob! Yay!!!


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